Matty to our grey cat: "You are an orange cat on a black and white TV"
Noah to Mommy after climbing off of the sideboard/buffet: "See, I didn't break any bones!" (I told him he could climb up there as long as he didn't break his leg falling off).
While reading Noah a story about Joseph (son of Israel and the boy whose brothers throw him into a pit and sell him as a slave), I'm interrupted by Noah: "Mommy, they are mean! They are (long pause) they are SINNING!" He says, triumphant and giddy at recalling the word. Me: "Yes! Yes they are!" Noah: "Yeah. Sinning. That's the spanish word for disobeying."
Talking to himself in the bathroom, apparently impressed: "It's a whole family of poops!"
Matty to Abby after looking over a graded book report that received 100%
M: Abby, I noticed you did a horrible job on your book report.
A: I know, I'm so ashamed of myself.