I have 5 more days before I take my orals. I'm supposed to be studying right now, but I thought I'd quickly upload a bunch of new pix before settling in to the books again. Quick break for my tired brain. I'm feeling pretty good about things--I mean, there isn't much I can do in 5 days but freewrite, read a bit, and try to think about the written comments I got from my dissertation committee after the written qual exams. I'm scared, but I'm trying to keep thing in perspective and trust that the adrenaline and focus will kick in when I'm in the room with my (brilliant, expert, engaging, and supportive) committee. I look forward to the discussion; I just need to get past the nerves.
After the 16th, I think I will be taking a couple of weeks to recover. We plan to do LOTS of hanging out, coloring, walking, swimming, BBQing. Who knows what! All I know is that I plan to indulge in the non-academicness of just-post quals...
This intense experience has taught me a lot about what I want most in life and what my calling is at the moment. I'm still trying to figure out how it balances out, but I know that I do not have the same desires as Matthew does to do this type of work all day, every week day. Maybe I'll feel differently when the kiddos are older, but it's too much for now. More like 2-3 days per week seems better to me, with a lot more time built in for family. I am miserable when school takes me away from home for too long, and I need to pay attention to that! As soon as the test is over, I'm going to change the schedule up a bit--a luxury of being "ABD" (all but dissertation) and of having a very supportive hubby! : I'll have 3 days per week when I focus hard on my teaching and research; when I leave my office, I will leave the work there. I need to not wear more than one (or two or three) hats all at once. This promises to yield more productive and intentional parenting as well as researching/writing.
OK. Back to work!
No comments:
Post a Comment