"Enjoy your last day in your twenties!"

As she left for work, my friend Bronwyn gave me this greeting: "Enjoy your last day in your twenties!" There was glee (the good kind, not the mean kind) in her voice, and a giggle too--she is already 30 and I got to razz her too. I hadn't thought about this day that way. I've got lots of muddled emotions about the whole thing, and thought I might cry, but really, I am quite happy to be entering my 30's. I have very high hopes that they will be less tumultuous than my 20's. Don't get me wrong, 20's have been great: I finished two degrees, got married, was a college ministry intern, had TWO babies, bought and sold my (our) first house, made lifelong friends, traveled a little bit, began a PhD, learned how to scrapbook, sew,quilt, cook, garden, research, write, teach college kids, teach my own kids, blog, air up a bike tire, do pretty much anything with one hand (or no hands!), figured out what my favorite color is, leared to LOVE thai, indian, and afghani food, figured out that I actualy DO like the open possibilities of a ranch style house, and on and on... Of course the 20's brought other things too: I lost two grandparents (my dad's folks), found out that marriage can be lonely (big shocker, actually) and requires LOTS of work (another shocker--hey, I watched too much Ane of Green Gables, alright?), I also found out that: kids can drive you a little nuts--mostly because you love them so much that they can really get to you, getting babies on a schedule is HARD work, exercizing isn't easy either, I really am NOT in control of a lot of things, and I can't totally protect my loved ones; there is a difference between hurting and harming people (and sometimes hurting them means they are protected from harm! Think vaccines, boundaries, loving honesty, etc.). I survived young Calvinist's disease (at east, I think I did), and made it through my second childbirth without an epidural. My 20's brought real struggles with anxiety, high blood pressure, real life hurts and even feeling depression.

I don't think I've got it all figured out; if anything, I've figured out that I wont ever "firgure it all out" but that I can survive (maybe even thrive at times) though uncertainty. I look forward to the richness that comes with having loved, served, and struggled alongside my life-partner, Matthew. I do NOT look forward to the loss that is sure to come in this life--the loss that takes my breath away at the tiniest thought--that of the most precious lives I am honored to share this life with. I'm in a tender spot at the moment--feeling pretty raw, pretty open to the wonder and the pain of living. This isn't altogether bad. Tears can be good (as I'm trying to explain to Abby, who wonders why sometimes people cry when they are happy). I think happy tears come when you finally realize how special the good things in life are, and how much those things should mean!

And now, I am going to try to do it: Enjoy this last day in my twenties. I've already done my research work for the day (did that first), and now I need to frost a cake, safety pin Abby's quilt so I can start quilting it, and hang out with Noah (who is practicing a new skill, to our great delight: blowing raspberries!). Life is pretty good.

Practice Run

deco fun
Originally uploaded by gennabby.

We busted out the cake decorating goodies to try our hands at decorating a cake. Abby loved it--as you can see. The sticks protruding from the cake are glow in the dark bracelets. They added a *special* flare to the cake. Tonight at my decorating class, I will decorate another cake; this one will end up being my birthday cake for tomorrow (Wednesday) night.

Hanging on by a thread...

Abby's quilt (in progress)
Originally uploaded by gennabby.

This is the top of Abby's quilt, which has been my latest sewing project. I still need to back it, quilt it, and bind it. The pillow, however, is done. Abbs seems to like it, and I am excited to see it come to fruition after staring at piles of tiny scraps on my sewing desk (in the corner of the livingroom) and wishing I could put more than a 10 minute dent in it at a time. One thing I have discovered: The G needs a room of her own. I dream of a room with wall to wall craft stations...sewing, scrabooking, painting. I want to try my hand at pottery, but that can't be done around the fabric! I can hear my future-self now: Noah, step away from the fabric. You have the right to remain muddy, but not in my craft room! I want to try sewing something with a pattern (like a skirt or apron) next. We will see if I find time for that.

I am taking a cake decorating class. I'll share pics of my cullinary handiwork soon--good, bad or ugly.

go VOLS!

go VOLS!
Originally uploaded by gennabby.

Well, the Vols didn't beat Florida, but Noah was so cute in his t-shirt that we were consoled. He seems to like watching football.

first bites of rice cereal

first bites of rice cereal
Originally uploaded by gennabby.

Abby fed Noah his first bites; he was thankful. I think his cereal smells like seaweed--Matthew got him the DHA stuff (from algae oil). He seems to like it! Maybe he will be a sushi lover.

So Close, but So Far Away

I think things often seem simultaneously so close and so far away. The exhilaration and frustration of ALMOST is what many of us secretly seek; sometimes ALMOST is just another way to describe the reality of not being in control.

I've been "off-line" for a while as I wait for Apple to replace my computer, which hit the magic number (4) of break-downs. Apple has replaced the logic board thrice, and now my little silver friend has been shipped off for the scrap pile. I feel like I just sentenced R2-D2 or C-3PO to machine purgatory, or worse! And now I wait...and check the FedEx tracking number...again....again...and I watch as my new computer leaves Shanghai, passes through Alaska, Indianapolis. They tell me it will be Tuesday before it arrives. Baaa.

I miss my old, unreliable mac.

Another ALMOST: We live just an hour from Berkeley. For years M and I have known that the Tennessee VOLS would play the Cal Bears in Berkeley in September of 2007 (I'm talking about football, people). We did not know, however, that we would have an infant by the time the game rolled around and that said infant would not be much of a bottle-taker, making the babysitting option not an option. Alas, the game ensued with us watching from Davis and not "re-living" our first date (M took me to a VOLS game in Knoxville some eight years ago). That said, we're sure glad we have Noah Bean. Oh yeah, and the VOLS lost, so we would have had a long, bummerish ride home from Berkeley anyway.

other ALMOSTS? We ALMOST got 3 hours of sleep the night before last (fussy baby).
I've ALMOST started exercising again. And studying again. And cleaning the house again; wait, I didn't do that much before...ha!

And you, yes you, reading this blog post, don't ALMOST call me and say hi. Do it! Write me a snail mail letter! If that's not enticing enough, write Abby a letter; that kid LOVES to get mail. She checks the mail box every day (and usually complains about not having anything in the mail). Even better, send her a new chapter book or a (non-lead-tainted) toy!

Alright, I'm about to have ALMOST had time for a latte before Noah wakes up!
See ya!