"Enjoy your last day in your twenties!"

As she left for work, my friend Bronwyn gave me this greeting: "Enjoy your last day in your twenties!" There was glee (the good kind, not the mean kind) in her voice, and a giggle too--she is already 30 and I got to razz her too. I hadn't thought about this day that way. I've got lots of muddled emotions about the whole thing, and thought I might cry, but really, I am quite happy to be entering my 30's. I have very high hopes that they will be less tumultuous than my 20's. Don't get me wrong, 20's have been great: I finished two degrees, got married, was a college ministry intern, had TWO babies, bought and sold my (our) first house, made lifelong friends, traveled a little bit, began a PhD, learned how to scrapbook, sew,quilt, cook, garden, research, write, teach college kids, teach my own kids, blog, air up a bike tire, do pretty much anything with one hand (or no hands!), figured out what my favorite color is, leared to LOVE thai, indian, and afghani food, figured out that I actualy DO like the open possibilities of a ranch style house, and on and on... Of course the 20's brought other things too: I lost two grandparents (my dad's folks), found out that marriage can be lonely (big shocker, actually) and requires LOTS of work (another shocker--hey, I watched too much Ane of Green Gables, alright?), I also found out that: kids can drive you a little nuts--mostly because you love them so much that they can really get to you, getting babies on a schedule is HARD work, exercizing isn't easy either, I really am NOT in control of a lot of things, and I can't totally protect my loved ones; there is a difference between hurting and harming people (and sometimes hurting them means they are protected from harm! Think vaccines, boundaries, loving honesty, etc.). I survived young Calvinist's disease (at east, I think I did), and made it through my second childbirth without an epidural. My 20's brought real struggles with anxiety, high blood pressure, real life hurts and even feeling depression.

I don't think I've got it all figured out; if anything, I've figured out that I wont ever "firgure it all out" but that I can survive (maybe even thrive at times) though uncertainty. I look forward to the richness that comes with having loved, served, and struggled alongside my life-partner, Matthew. I do NOT look forward to the loss that is sure to come in this life--the loss that takes my breath away at the tiniest thought--that of the most precious lives I am honored to share this life with. I'm in a tender spot at the moment--feeling pretty raw, pretty open to the wonder and the pain of living. This isn't altogether bad. Tears can be good (as I'm trying to explain to Abby, who wonders why sometimes people cry when they are happy). I think happy tears come when you finally realize how special the good things in life are, and how much those things should mean!

And now, I am going to try to do it: Enjoy this last day in my twenties. I've already done my research work for the day (did that first), and now I need to frost a cake, safety pin Abby's quilt so I can start quilting it, and hang out with Noah (who is practicing a new skill, to our great delight: blowing raspberries!). Life is pretty good.