April 4, 2008

anticipatory grace

I've come to expect that anything we send to school with Abby for show-and-tell must be something we're willing to let go of forever. Most of the time these items come home in perfect condition, because Abby is very careful with them (and is gentle in general). But I know how she worries about disappointing us (no matter how much reassurance she receives from us that we will ALWAYS love her and that there is nothing she could do--not even the worst thing in the world--to make us not love her). So, now when I send her out the door with a show-and-tell item, I relinquish it. I give it up with thoughts of being happy to see it come home, but not devastated if there should be a mishap. This morning Abby took a sweet little glass garden ornament, which swirls when the wind blows it. I like this silly little thing; it's pretty and fun to have hanging around. But I told Abby that if it should break, I would not be angry with her. She already knows to be careful and doesn't need that reminder again, but when she is in away from me and I can't wipe her tears and tell her that "accidents happen," I want her to know not to despair or worry. She is forgiven. I recall hearing abut how my mom once brought a statue, a wedding gift to her mom and dad, to school. She had it on top of her flip desk, protected it all day long, and at the end of the day, flipped her desk up and sent the statue crashing to bits. She was forgiven and loved, perhaps even more for her dear heartbrokenness over the mistake. She's a grandmother now and is still so aware of that moment in which she experienced grace so long ago. I hope we can cultivate that kind of grace more and more in our household. Goodness knows we will have opportunities galore to do so with Noah getting more mobile; oh yes, and Matthew has a knack with fumbling glasses and dishes from time to time. :)

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